The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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