If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
