I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
