i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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