How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
