Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
