she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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