am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
