As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
