When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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