is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
