So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
