Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
