Umm I'm too high to move.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
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