Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
