Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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