I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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