Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
