We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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