Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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