I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
