i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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