I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
4 words: hood of his car
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Randomize
