how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
