When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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