just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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