theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
