I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
