Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
