Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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