we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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