Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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