what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Randomize
