"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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