I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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