Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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