my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
