Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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