I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
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