I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
