I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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