He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
