I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize