I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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