Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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