Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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