Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
