Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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