Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
