You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
