her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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