genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
