Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
