he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
