oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
