She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize