Pregnant stripper...not hot.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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