in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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