Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
