some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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