she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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