dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
