She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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